Marriage Coaching

Today I went for a job interview coaching session. We spoke about what I should say, ask, do and wear at the interview when I meet the VP from the Marketing Department.

The conversation began with all these phrases to sound smart, “Like say that at your last job you were involved in NPD, looked over KPIs”, etc. Of course, none of that is true. Marketing at my old job was all about intuition, night brainstorming, the aha moments, and the right feeling.

Anyways, the conversation quickly diverged into something completely different and became coaching for marriage, this is what I learned:

1. Only have two pillows on your bed, the third pillow is to make the wall of china between both of you and that’s a no-no. In any case, the third pillow is to hug and that  should be your husband not a cotton stuffed thing.

2. The only place where you can solve all problems is the bed.

3.  While he is showering, surprise him and go into the shower with him.

4. Your best friend is your worse advisor.  They will always give you advice based on their interest, not yours. Sometimes your best friend likes your husband. Sometimes they tell you things like, “Don’t let him manipulate you” and that makes you defensive and aggressive making you ruin your chances to a happy marriage.

5. Always kiss with your eyes closed.

6. What you ruin with the top, you fix with the bottom.  If out of your mouth came mean things that hurt, when you are in bed start playing and teasing him with your feet to rekindle.

7. Don’t listen when they tell you that romance fades away. It is up to the woman to keep it alive, always.